Studio Republic
2026-09-14T00:38:07.725Z
I arrived feeling nervous having considered not turning up. Were the clothes I chose to wear a bad choice, would I hate my photos?I wondered if the staff would see me as too old, too bulky, too anything to be able to make the photos show who I am inside. For a number of reasons my confidence was at a low point before turning up for these photos.I'd had photo shoots before where I'd done my hair and makeup and dressed the kids in their smartest gear, I threw together an outfit that 'fitted' at the time and went with the standard 'mug shot' type stance the photographer asked for. I was never happy with the reflection of me, the exhausted woman I see in those. The forced smile and holding back tears about how I felt about doing the photos at that time.But this time, was my time. I've just turned 60 less than a month ago. I am not going to be any younger so that window had gone. Why not treat myself to some selfcare, hair and makeup. Even if the photos were not what I liked, I could take advantage of the 'face and doo' and Hubby and I could go out for dinner afterwards. With this as a plan, I decided to enjoy the experience. Then, I arrived at the studio, nervous but doing okay. The few minutes wait were painful. I was doubting this and feeling it was the worst idea I had for a long while.Once in the chair Dani helped perfect a subtle transformation into the woman I feel I am - on the inside - from someone trapped that I know is in there but can't quite draw her out to sitting there before me in a mirror.Once infront of the camera, I was instantly and confidently engaging with Kenzi's energy. I didn't have to think, I followed her clear directions. She gave me encouragement, laughed with me and lifted my awkwardness into a fun relaxed afternoon giggle.When the shoot was over, my Hubby joined me to go through the photos, I'm not sure what either of us expected but - wow! My husband was wrapped as he saw the woman he married, confident and strong, vulnerable yet brave. I recognised the me I knew was inside of me - my face showing the me I understand, the person I hold space with and at times, hold tension with. It all seemed to come out in the photos. We both loved the majority of them. The ones we didn't choose were those that were similar to others or the expression was less emphasised than in another. We didn’t dislike any of them really. We and I mean both of us, would have taken all of them if that were possible.The photographs framed aspects of personality that helped me understand me! They showed my strengths and even some weaknesses - I love that. I actually saw my young self and my now mature self through this process and in the images.Was this process a place of vulnerability? Yes. Was it extreemly uncomfortable? Yes, I was out of my comfort zone at times. Was it fun? Definitely! Was it worth it? Absolutely!Yesterday 24 hours after the experience, I mixed with people I have never met. It was easier than it has been for a while - the real me was back, I was my confident, happy self. The interaction filled my bucket where for some time social gatherings have emptied me of emotional strength.My half day of selfcare gave me an opportunity to gather back self worth, confidence and a desire to build on from here.Thankyou to all who played a part in this process, I appreciate it very much.