Z Dentistry
2026-09-25T04:44:57.991Z
I'm not allowed in the Z Dentistry building without calling ahead first, mainly because of the fetid waft radiating from my pants as mentioned in my last review, so now every time I visit they have to take me around back and hose me down first before I can enter the waiting area. This time they also got out their gas-powered pressure washer with an 8 degree nozzle and stripped the yellow stains off my teeth before entering, too.After I was sat in the dentist's chair, my usual laughing gas was administered so that I could go to La-La Land for a while. I remember leaving my body, traveling to the stars, then floating through glittering nebulae and shimmery stars while going whooaaaaaaa like a hippie that has simultaneously discovered The Grateful Dead and the fact that Buddhist monks associate the pineal gland with our third eye in meditative states.I might've been having an out-of-body experience at the time, but I assure you I saw everything going on in the room in spirit: I had two dental assistants hold both my hands, plus some other employees bring their pom-poms in and do a little cheer because I'm a scaredy-cat. After numbing my face, Dr. Jason put the extraction forceps on the proper tooth and began to wiggle it, but it just wouldn't budge.Not accepting defeat, he planted one foot firm on the ground, his other foot on my face, then pulled with all of his might--with every fiber of his being!--while letting out a death grunt like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator. I imagine there were about 3,600 pounds of foot pressure (and a good bit of torque) when the tooth finally broke free.This launched Dr. Jason backwards so fast that when he flew through the drywall in the back of the room, it left a perfectly outlined silhouette of his body just as it was when it flew in like you see in Wile E. Coyote episodes of Looney Tunes. I might've been as high as the sky at the time, flying around like Peter Pan at will, but I'm positive I heard the Roadrunner roll by and go MEEP MEEP! right afterward.When I came to a little while later, I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. After picking up the right side of my face off the floor since the Lidocaine hadn't worn off yet, I discovered a reversed, negative impression of a Reebok logo stamped deep into my forehead from Dr. Jason's foot.This was an 11/10 visit, just like the last one. I hope I don't ever run out of teeth to get pulled since I like visiting so much.